Allen Frances is right to oppose listing grief as a psychiatric illness. Grief is the most vivid, piercing and transcendent of emotions. People grieve in their own unique ways. The problem is that we expect grief to follow the same throwaway, “get over it” ethic that drives too much of modern life.
Many people expect a funeral or memorial for the deceased to bring “closure” for the grieving, when, in reality, preparations for such ceremonies only postpone mourning. After a few bereavement days, a griever is often expected to go back to work without missing a beat. After two weeks, the mere mention of the deceased or your loss may be considered rude or burdensome to others.
Little wonder people are depressed. This is still true.