Friday, May 18, 2012

What can we say?

Grief has no compass, but surprise seems to be what most of us experience first. It seems like stage one. The world as we knew  it changed.  The things we used to do now seem old. The people who cared for us seem not to know how grief holds us hostage. Death aged us. Having a vibrant partner kept us young, even when they were terminally ill. Just caring for them made us feel important, so important that we thought we could rescue them.  Now we are aimless. We kept our commitments to work and family, but we discovered loneliness. We seemed like drifters, not caring, just doing.  I am not sure what I will tell Barbara.

 I think I might tell my dear friend what we mentioned in our book FRESH WIDOWS:
     Give yourself an A+ if you can forgive jerks. stay solvent, and figure out what's next.

I wonder what a man, a recent widower, might mention to a fresh widow.

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